You begin to reach for the stars when you no longer believe that more stuff and entertainment is what life is all about. When you step out of that mentality, the real stars become visible so you can begin the journey to reaching them.
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If you want to make life easier for yourself, your bosses, your colleagues and your employees, learn to HEAR what they are saying. Because often what people say is not quite what they mean to say.
To be a good listener, work on developing the following habits:
1) Do not multi-task – give the person your full attention
2) Don’t interrupt, don’t react, don’t volunteer your opinion – wait for a natural lull to ask your questions
3) Ask clarifying questions without making any judgements – avoid passive aggressive language
4) Listen with your eyes as well as your ears – watch their eyes and facial expressions
5) Re-state what they are saying back to them using their own words and expressions – if appropriate.
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Example of vague goals: ‘I want more money’, ‘I wish I was better at communicating’, ‘some day I’ll do that course’. Example of specific goals: ‘I want to earn 200Ks this year’, ‘I practice my communication skills’, ‘I scheduled the course at the end of November’. Remember: garbage in – garbage out.
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Whether or not you’re a good communicator, you can always be better. So take courses, attend seminars and read books on communication but most of all, learn by observing those people in your organization who you think have better communication skills. Simply pay attention to what they do and how.
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Don’t wish your problems away. It won’t work anyway, and even if it does, you’ll never learn anything or do anything worthwhile. If, however, you learn to deal with problems, you might start to enjoy yourself. For example, skis were invented to deal with the problem of mobility in snow and now skiing is a major source of fun.
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Most people pursue wealth as a means to attaining a life. Even if they manage to achieve financial success, they are rarely satisfied. Life becomes a succession of mindless thrill seeking and keeping up with the Joneses If however they find their life’s work and become really good at it, wealth will come naturally and bring happiness, not misery.
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You’ve got to be both a manager and a leader. Either one by itself is not enough. If you’re just a manager, you’ll never get the best out of your people. If you’re just a leader, you’ll have trouble getting things done. You’ve got to find the balance between the two that is right for your area, your department, your organization.
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People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. As a manager and a leader, you cannot afford not to care, or care but not that much, about your people. Organizations are not about the end result. Organizations are about people coming together to make things happen. Huge difference.
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